When he was drinking, he was attentive, affectionate, and fun. Ive communicated everything and yet nothing. He expressed his anger in silence. Im feeling pained and upset with myself the concessions Ive made and feeling as though theres no room for compromise. but when you asked him he keep saying i dont hate you i hate your attitude sometimes. I dont know if anyone has experienced this before? At last my mom knew everything and i wasnt allowed to talk to him.. I dont think Ive really shared that with anyone before! or something but dont get mad if he says no just go do it because YOU want to do it Leave him the option, but if he doesnt pick up on it, just enjoy yourself anyways ^~^ cuz you deserve it You are working really hard and deserve to enjoy some time. Its now Tuesday, nothing. You wouldnt even have to be sad or feel bad for him, because the honest reality is that he didnt value all your efforts while you gave a damn. 1) You would start to see your boyfriend noticing how positive, content and a happy individual you are turning out to be suddenly, and then wonder if therell be any other guys whod potentially be eyeing youbecause you are really becoming such a happy and lovely girl. I feel like he is not making me a priority in his life. Oh my God this is so me. We get along well because we were good friends before the relationship, we have a lot in common, but spent a little time together in person before the relationship, communicating mainly online. I tried talking to him about it and he was very dismissive with just an okay, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3years now but he hasnt prioritized me..his family always comes first, whereas i do the most work, im there for him emotionally, physically financially sometimesbut I always come last on his list he is a good guy and he respects me and all but im jst tired cos he doesnt spend on me.Then i met another guy who will give me his eyeballs as soon as i ask for them but he is very disrespectful and selfish wen it comes to my feelings.. he is always the right one.. if I complain of being ignored till his convenience he jst ignores me some more and comes back to say Im sorry babe i love you and thats it..I really dont know what to do.. please help me. Im starting to think he doesnt want to marry me. When I started dating him I was very strong in my religion. Im going to be a junior in a few months and hell be a freshman in college. I begun to be desperated just to win him back but hes tough enough to avoid me and forget everything we had. I feel like I could spend my life with him if it were not for one issue that has always popped up. I am in q very similar situation. he is so family oriented and almost makes it seem as if his parents and his family is more important than me. He says he feels out of touch with his emotions, and he doesnt know how to think or handle them. I am learning. I feel you. I was in an abusive relationship before so its scary having to trust someone and their intentions. , hopefully each day, I will start to become stronger, and maybe me and him could continue with our friendship as time passes. What do you do when your boyfriend hate you so much when he is drunk? Literally same. should i stay or let go? Thats not enough for any relationship! If youre depressed by my first tip on what to do when your boyfriend makes no effort in your relationship (accept him for who he is right now), Ive got good news for you! My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. All I want is for us to share things I love together and not just his hobbies and interests. Here are 5 reasons he stopped texting you: 1. Around my birthday time I started to notice that his effort was there mentally and physically. Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. Been with my boyfriend 2 years.he told me he smokes pot, which than i said im not supporting your habbit (which i meant financially). I trusted his words for way too long. I asked if he still has resentment but he said he doesnt. I try to do something positive and you piss on it. He ignored me for a week 1/2 I thought he dumped me an i had mental breakdowns every night and day..I finally get an email from him asking to zoom and i zoomed him. Its time to let him go, you did all you could. But loves to act as if what Im saying isnt logical. WebiStock. While you should always feel free to express yourself and say whats on your mind, take a good look at the way you're communicating. Over the past 2 months something changed. This is NOT the man I fell in love with that I move in with 5.5 years ago. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. Do I deserve this? I guess what im really confused about is, Is he really just being comfortable or is he thinking that i would never leave him ( he knows) so it dosent matter how he treats me or how much effort he puts in? The point Im trying to make is, if you settle for mistreatment and excuses for why its ok, youll only end up resentful and unable to trust anyone again. Ironic the 6th year anniversary I spoke of then is on Monday and we were supposed to be celebrating by going to the place we went on our first date tomorrow, instead, because they arent open on Mondays. This guy is really bad for you, and you know it. This guy isnt my boyfriend but we met in a way that would almost seen like fate. I am still sad and confused as to what happened. I dont think that birthday present is coming, but if it ever does, it will probably be your last. While he was living with his mom he got a job and was so focused on that..he didnt talk to me as much anymore. He is using you for everything you got. I just wish he would care more. I didnt hear from him till early Sunday morning when I drunk texted him. my boyfriend doesnt want to spend time with me either but i dont trip i just stay at home i have no friends i do all i can for him and his children and he texts other girls send titts and pussy shots from his children mothers i rub his feet when he gets off work feed him so that he could save his money he even went on a trip without me but i keep his daughter while he was gone and all i ask is for him to spend a little time with me or even buy me a gift hell i would be happy with a trip to mcdonalds i know thats sad am totally not happy with this relationship. There is little to no effort from my boyfriend and every time I try to communicate that with him nothing changes. He always gives excuses such as I just ate and no matter what I still put my pride aside and do it for him. Our plan for celebrating our anniversary like its nothing? I envisioned a life time ahead of feeling let down by this person. He used to come over to my place so often no matter what day what time. You Are Very Possessive & Insecure about Him. Is it too much to expect from a boyfriend to ask out his girlfriend one a month? So what I want to know is do this guy and me still have a chance to fix things? Now i think ill do my best to be nice to him for some time and if he doesnt change i leave him.. Is it ok for wait and see for his cahnge? Were both in high school now. and he even told me that her wife cheated on him. He barely calls me back when he sees my miss calls,i talked to him about it,he told me he is just stressed up with work.. Now he tries to call me at night or text me before he sleeps,he returns my calls,but things are not like before.. First I asked him if we could level up our relationship through meeting his and my family. It isnt fair. But we got OUR place, he expects me to clean, cook, everything. Last week he finally invited me over to his house after not seeing him for almost two weeks when he had his daughter. We planned to moving in together (I go to live with him), but due to the lockdown, the plan has been changed, because of his lack of the response, I decided not to move in with him for now, when I told him this, he replied that he would like to visit me when he can fly. Its a painful truth. he told me he loved me which he hasnt said in a week 1/2 i was shocked.. he acted normal but careless. If you succumb to what you wish your relationship and boyfriend was, then youll find yourself begging or manipulating your boyfriend into making an effort in your relationship. It is just hurtful to know that he could not even think of doing this one thing for me. I had sent him links to little trinkets and gifts. This quarantine also suddenly ruined my relationship. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below! I tried to talk to him about it multiple times, every time he would apologize and say he would be better, but he always fell back in the same routine. Fast forward to after the trip, he rolled back into town and expected me to be completely free for him to come over to loaf around my apartment. We were together for three years. Best wishes. Omgod girl leave him. The same month, I started my PhD program but I still made the time to see him. A. Let him see how much you value the relationship, remind him of how much you have built together and feed on what you both can achieve without hindrance. I help him with college work a lot, and he often expresses to me how he feels so much calmer and relaxed when were together (which is true because his mood just completely changes and hes always so happy). But hes continued to ignore my texts/ doesnt make effort to see me. Its more about him being a hero. Also expected to cook, clean, do the laundry, take care of our pet. I used to think eventually wed work through the kinks and finally stop arguing. I couldnt take the iPad with me if i snuck out but i did tell him to meet me at my gate at midnight. He hasnt showed any affection towards me since that incident and makes me feel he doesnt care to make me feel like Im the only one. And he knows that Im on the edge of being homeless and I know theres not much he can do. We must set boundaries and let no man cross them. i just dump my 2mnths loveless relationship before it gets deeper. He continues to text me daily, several times a day generally, and gets worried if I dont respond right away. I may be overreacting sometimes, but I believe my feelings are valid. However, how do we Know that the ll will Change? Even when you are depressed you can do little things, especially if its for someone you love. Meaning if he doesnt step up when you pull back. I met my boyfriend at work. But now that he has you he sees he doesnt have to try anymore. time and time again i have told him why i was upset, what he could do to make the situation better and everything in between, yet he still does nothing. Its like he wants to cause as much damage as he can verbally to win and I dont get it. This is literally me. Not just that, sexually as well. Find yourself then get to understand your mate emotionally and mentally. wishful thinking: wanting to be wanted deeply wanted to feel like a woman kisses, grabbed, eye gazed wanting to be complimented and acknowledged. Any advice please? Hi im kushi, 25yrs old.. My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship for 3yrs now.. His mom, so sweet and caring, once scolded me because I refused to go on a trip with him. Me and him didnt talk all day but that didnt matter at first cause he slept while i went to school but then he started to sleep at night like a normal person and so I would go to school and ft him right when school got out and we would fall asleep on ft together. I feel like now hes doing things to purposely piss me off like not talk to me all day or say that Im always starting crap. The littlest things set him off, and me as well. but he refuses to communicate, refuses to try and he does this thing where he grasps for straws so that he can point the finger of blame on me. I just want to have a nice time, an interesting conversation. I think the best thing to do would be to withdraw and give him space. I know hes not a bad person maybe he doesnt feel the same about me anymore, or still loves me but is not in love with me anymore. Me and him didnt talk much because my mom found out more about my bf and i also couldnt sneak ipads anymore. And now he hasnt talked to me in almost three weeks. I recently said I needed a romantic date, and other things kept coming up. Even seemingly harmless criticism and patronizing comments, too, can take a toll. Which I know I do and Ive thought about sooooo much, but my problem is is that I actually cant imagine my life without him, hes been in it so deeply since we were 13/14 and I love him so much. These are no games. He however is a very intelligent, high functioning person with autism. It takes a lot of patience and time. My bestfriend just wanted to get me with someone so she picked her friend and I told her that I needed to get to know him first and not rush into a relationship so me and this guy stayed up for 24 hours on ft and we kinda just clicked he told me he liked me and I sort of liked him but I told him I still wanted to just keep talking so we did and he was so impatient he just wanted to ask me out so a week later I was like sure and we started dating. He has issues, related to Pyrones disease. There is someone else for you. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs & was confused and often questioned his love for me & his commitment to me. He said hes always lacked that proactiveness even with his friends (which Ive seen firsthand) and admitted he let that be my responsibility,not because he didnt want to see me but because it doesnt occur to him to organise. Weve been together for 5 years. You are worth it. I started breaking down on zoom and crying. NEVER REALLY HELPS. I trust him and I wanna keep trusting him. I didnt really understand why he said that when I been there since day one and still been here but I wanted to also considered how he felt and change that. Also, and Im not materialistic by any means, hes offered to buy me lots of things or even just give me money to help with bills. But I just feel unwanted and that all I do for him is in vain. I discussed all these issues with him 2 days before. He has never had a serious relationship so he doesnt know that we could have gone through it together. At the beginning, I was super in love with him and I would put in so much effort. I appreciated it still but it was all cheap and last minute, again lack of effort. Its been hard but there are better things to come. Surprising me with letters, giving me flowers and just little things like opening the door for me. Then, youll have the wisdom and guidance you need. He always tells me that he loves me and always talks about the future seriously, but honestly it just feels like I just have to take his word for it. Im a stay home mom right now but still help my BF with reports, programs etc for work. Every time I ask, he gets upset, and starts an argument, so why do I bother? He has joint custody of his 17 yr old daughter and about 2 months ago he found out that her stepdad had been engaging in sexual activity with her. Any thoughts ppl? The honeymoon phase is gone, but now everything is bland. I just want to feel special!! Or stay here and break up. do you have to have contact for this. He gets annoyed and sighs and does the What do you want from me now?? There may be more social pressure on men to be the ones who go after women, but hes got feelings too. Ive been with my mate for 8 years prior to dating we were band mates .I knew him to be extremely introverted and not the happy go lucky type but I honestly had no idea it would be like pulling a tooth without novocaine to get any emotional response, support or growth,out of him!I feel stunted and see my life ever changing and evolving yet his ,the same .He has taken on many of my attributes oddly ,yet I feel, Ive gained nothing in return. We just dont talk the same way that we used to. so I do have to take that into account, and when his parents go away for the summer its wayyyy easier to spend more time with him, he becomes so laid back. Im just a girl whos watched a fair amount of psychology videos, but I hope that this advice helps you!! Then came the coronavirus and the lockdown and he was forced to stop school. I encouraged him to ask for help through his cohort and luckily one of them came through and got him this great job at the investment firm he works at. He doesnt have any plans in those days and still he can not make an effort to spend that day with me, meanwhile I have 2 birthday parties and was ready to ditch them to spend time with him. I know for sure that he likes me as well. thats about it. when it comes to affection, i literally have to initiate everything. I was the one initiating our relationship and I feel like he thinks just being there is enough for me. When a partner is heavily distracted by other commitments, tasks, stress, and anxiety, they may find it too challenging to redirect their attentionand they may even be so wrapped up that your needs don't even register. Recently we spoke after time a part and he said hed really change. If he isnt putting any effort in the beginning of the relationship then I think its time to let him go. I feel lonely and he NEVER wants to go out or do anything. I love him however because of his lack of effort Im almost ready to walk away for good. Then he complains when I dont cook dinner after working 10 hours a day, I work four-10 hour days, and says all I know how to cook is chicken, which Im a great cook, he is just too lazy to do anything what so ever. I realized he was not the man for me. We recently broke up with him due to the fact that, despite my efforts to express how I didnt feel like a priority, and him apologizing, him not making an effort to see me during the week (Works been crazy) and saying he would call me at night, but not, he did not change and I gave it 2 1/2 weeks. I know love makes me blind, could anyone tell me what I have been missing in this relationship please? I am often not successful but I realized in the last 1-2 years, it is him. He has told me over and over that I need to stop. He knew my day was not going well and that I have dinner ready for him every single night and just once, I ask him to just do it for me! Now, I dont know all the details of this, but I would say that hes pushing you away unintentionally while trying to cope with the loss of his father. Idk what to do anymore. Im right there with you though, I feel the same way about my bf of 2 years. Rather than jumping to conclusions, have a conversation with your partner and ask them what's been on their mind and the reasons for their apparent loss of interest. I still have ticket stubs from all the movies we saw and how much trouble weve gotten into together. I havent see each other for 2months which it is really upsetting. okay so how i try to avoid causing a scene over tht is i would comeover to his place, thts the only place he would be fine because if i ask him to meet me at my area or anywhr else he wouldnt want to. But then he keeps telling me he loves me, he cares for me, Im matter and important to him. I have tried to express my feelings over and over, but I still get nothing. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. Would you like to come along? We havent been intimate in almost 2 years and when I asked him he says hes not turned on ? He was telling me about his plan for tomorrow and I asked about when we are supposed to go out, he acted annoyed and commented I knew you would be worried about that really? I do really love him even we just got together. Its just so sad because we have already talked about these no showing of efforts issue and up until this day it is still the same. Hey babe! This might not apply to all guys. He has lost interest in everything. After that I had to go home cause it was starting to get dark. he straight up ignored and didnt read them.) Thanks for your confidence in a random stranger. I can tell you have much love for him but imagine how good itll be to love someone that has that same love and 10x more for you. Does not show any effort at all, but claims to love me so much. He said that the only thing I require of him is to give me attention. Im not asking for much, just some normal effort. After his birthday he left his sisters and moved in with his mom. Im always the one asking him to do something, Im always planning my work schedules around his and swapping shifts etc I just feel like its so one sided sometimes. He never compliments me, from my perspective he only tells me when Im not doing something right. But it hasnt. I came across a guy who seemed familiar but had a different name. I think him doing that even though you have said you arent okay with it is extremely disrespectful and shows he doesnt care about your feelings. Wow girl as Im reading this I cant believe I didnt write it lol. hed text at 11-1am for me, but by then i would have fallen asleep. And, your definition of not making an effort may not match your boyfriends definitionwhich means youre operating from a completely different set of expectations. Do you feel loved? Its so hard due to his work ,he still trying his best to see me at least thats what he told me. Maybe he will brush his teeth at lunchtime but often he just smells like armpits and looks like a scruff and then wants to come to our clean bed that way. Why cant he put in the effort? It wasnt any thing bad. Towards the end of September things exploded. He is so passive. It can make you feel insecure like theres something wrong with you. However, he has never been one to put in huge amounts of effort. He doesnt ask about my life and hes still working with his ex wife in a business relationship. Is he telling me things just to shut me up or does he blurt things out impulsively. So he does nothing. I would get so frustrated with him because I really was not asking for much, just a phone call to check on your girlfriend surely is not asking for much. I worked until 11 pm and he worked until 7 and this morning I even brought everything out ingredients wise for him to FOR ONCE make me dinner because I was getting home SO late and SO exhausted. He had agreed we both need to be more positive and would be open to doing little exercises each day. We were really happy and things happended so good. But when it comes to his business he always asks for my help and Im always putting things aside to help him. And then proceeded to call me later like nothing was wrong to tell me about something that happened at work. By lack of effort I mean that its almost like pulling teeth to get him to plan weeks ahead to figure out when we will be able to see eachother. I always yearn for good morning texts, prioritize seeing me during his off days and checking in during the day. Till then, you should be determined not to commit to anything or anyone. I had stated in the beginning of the relationship I wanted marriage. Be careful when you hear those words. And so on. He has broken up with me three times this year and he never asked for forgiveness. He does not take me out for surprise outings or does not plan anything for us to do as a couple, but still i do not complain much about that. I would go on my off days when I wasnt in collehe classes or work. When I have tried to speak about it again, he makes me feel as if its my fault, when he doesnt see his change in actions are making me stressed and anxious. It just seems like a cliche movie begining or something. I got up today and did mine in bed, he continued browsing the web on his phone which is all he does now when we are together. A Relationship Expert Explains, How to Recognize Signs of Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Your Spouse, Chemistry Between People Depends on These 7 Traits, Signs and Causes of Emotional Neglect in a Marriage and How to Cope, 8 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner, 16 Signs of Falling in Love That Mean It's Real, How to Stop Being Needy in a Relationship, How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, 10 Signs of an Emotionally-Abusive Relationship, How to Ask for a Father's Permission to Marry His Daughter. And even now he knows that there are small things he has done to make me feel loved and special (eg my name on his ig bio without me asking) and Ive made it so so clear that these small things make so so happy, but I just noticed that he removed my name from his bio yesterday and it breaks my heart because thats the one thing he has done that reminded me he loves me.. its so stupid because its such a small thing but at this point I have been so starved of love that I dont have anything else. Recently, and at a time where my mental state has been absolute crap and I really needed some comfort, we didnt see each other for about a month and a half. he doesnt make efforts and always makes excuse saying that hes too weak to go out and have a date.whenever we see each other we only stay at his room. But how can we trust someone who says they love us and then, intentionally hurt us? Which I practically felt alone and excited to do things by myself. Open your heart to Jesus; listen to His call on your life. Dont EXPECT him to show up for it, but try to share it with him a little bit. He said the reason we broke up was because of different love languages, arguing, and that he was not as emotionally available as I need him to be. (he was asked from her what are u doing, when she replied studying, he texted shall i come to study with u, and she replied there are my friends at my room, and he replied its k.no matter i ll come) But anyway after i saw it i lost my trust on him. He also said that I know how he is and that he is tired from work. I dont know, I hope someone out there can relate or help with how I feel. My boyfriend had proposed me to marry him on 3rd month dating.. then he was stressed up with his business he didnt know how to handle .. i started helping him and give him directions.. he was getting through in a good way ,though at times i had to push him as he haf started giving up.. but then he broke up with me while am at my work place .. it was terrible..but i couldnt let my personal issues interfere with my work i locked the door of my office and kept on working with tears.. three months later he comes back .. but again he hasnt mentioned he needs a favour .. but he kinda mentioned about something that i was helping him out with telated to his business.. i offered him help yet lol.., and the matter is going well on his favour and he has pulled off again.. bi communication.. am glad i had asked him once if he just came around cause he wanted favour.. he said he still have strong feelings for me.. but deep inside i know he is just using. 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