At the moment we are living in India with my husband and his parent, my son seems to be attached to them more than me. It hurts me so much inside and i dont know what to do. It may take a few tries for that method to work. It does feel like all I am used for is food and diaper change. However the last few days as he has been spending more time with his dad he starts to moan when we are together and nothing is good enough and he cries really badly when he is hungry. By the time all my training was done may daughter was 14 months old and had been with my mother the entire time. If must be terribly hard to be away so much from your family and then come home and not feel welcome. I work the whole day so hard for my daughter. You sound like you are in very bad emotional shape. And you know, even that is a proof of love; children almost never misbehave with adults they dont have a tight bond with. 2.) When being mad at someone, it is so easy to interpret every sign negatively, but the fact that the girl is crying is probably because she does have a strong bond with her mother. At this, understanding and accepting a no simply is beyond her. Can you please help? I do that almost everyday, and shes fine and enjoys playing with me when were home together; again, its when her Dad comes home or when Grampy and/or Aunt Mel come over that she wants nothing to do with me. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. Which is great but I feel useless. I have been struggling with the same thing for the last two weeks. Pennsylvania mom Rebecca Shumard gave birth to daughter Eden at 27 weeks. i try to spend the most of my time with her but maybe its not enough, i wish i knew where i went wrong. She is in love, so to say, and wants to be with you all the time. I thought I was doing the best thing for myself and my daughter. I see you're still nervous. She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . If she is with me then she walks a way the moment she hears or sees her grandma. Anyway, Im not writing to give a full update on my situation but instead I wish to respond to your posts. By preparing during maternity leave, you can feel more empowered in your choice and ensure a smooth transition for you and your baby. She just wants me to go away from her. I have a 1yr-old son and he just started this him not wanting me always want the other family member that is around. I am so happy that my two main men have such a great relationship, but I want to share in it too! she is three now. It has shown to be a very effective tool to make children both bond and co-operate instead of challenging us and our rules. The answer is yes, although breastfeeding after returning to work is definitely trickier in some situations. The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. Maybe worth trying for you too? Any idiot can get pregnant but being a loving mother is something entirely different. In addition, you could leave a used t-shirt them, to be used for naptime, for example, so your smell is as familiar as possible. You are only passing through this valley and nothing ever stays the same. and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. I dont know what to do. Daddy is a play toy and thinks he comes and goes and is fun, but deep down I know she loves me and cant live without me. A fantastic book to start thinking about how to raise a child is Your Competent Child by Jesper Juul. If he wasnt a secure baby he wouldnt be able to bond with other people. Please someone help me with this I dont want to hate my mom but more than anything I dont want my son to bond better to her. You are and always will be their only mother. Offensively taken, it means that im not a good mother!? by Margaret e Jacobsen. If you are going back to work at 6 weeks, you could start introducing your baby to a bottle about two weeks beforehand. I feel like a lazy, uninvolved mother and I hate it. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. In fact she would crawl away if i come near her. But early nappers are often cranky during the hour that precedes bedtime the very hour that you arrive home from work. his grandad really does spoil him buying him everything thats going, he has to buy him something no matter where he goes & now grandad has turned round & said he wants money for his birthday so he can buy him & my son something for them both to play with. I am not a horrible mother, in fact I am a stay at home mother. Do you think itll pass? Within a week I was less upset and things were turning around. Just recently he has started clinging to Daddy again, and I noticed that it was coinciding with feeling quite homesick (I live abroad, far away from my parents and siblings). She wants to go to ANYONE (atleast any relative that shes familiar with) instead of me; her dad most importantly. She goes to everyone and she does not seem to miss me if i am not around. He fights me on everything. ), are hard-wired so to speak to love their mothers, absent significant abuse and/or neglect. No phone, no talking to your wife, no planning of the next day at work. I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom. I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. Im often doing something else at the same time as interacting with them. I kind of gave up trying to figure it out, and just really tried to just remain bright and happy and easy going. Try to stay bright and relaxed, it really WILL get better. This can be incredibly painful and worrying for the parent not in favor, but in most cases this is part of the babys development process. Try to reach out to your mom and ask for her help. I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy diapers. xxx. Breast refusal tip #8: Try a different feeding position. She even slapped me in the face. she sees her dad may be once or twice a months. She breaks her back trying to look for him when he leaves the room. I am really glad to see that I am not the only one with this problem. She cries for her grand mother. My daughter is my first child and I have waited a long time to have her. Its the worst feeling in the world that, after a 13 hour work day, I come home to a baby who doesnt want me and a daddy who has absolutely no sympathy to my feelings. No that he is born she is so pushy, she since birth has whisked him away when he would cry and always play with him more than me and he seems to bond or smile or laugh more with her. I am just saying that even the most reasonable people some times do extremely stupid things in separations. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. This cookbook contains about 200 recipes and photos of how to make delicious meals easily and quickly. I thoguht maybe I didnt give her enough love because I was so busy trying to get her into a routine. But if grandma or grandpa or daddy was her he would def go with one of them instead of me! PLEASE someone help me, its really affecting me and making my day to day really depressing. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. And as being the preferred caretaker at the moment, your mom can help you a lot by firmly handing over your daughter to you at certain points. 8) Life is hard for everyone, working moms included. Our song hs never stoppd being sung even my hsband ws around. She is now my daughters god mother and I consider her a dear friend. Please think long and hard before you do so, and before you delude yourself into thinking that leaving the baby with someone other than you for extended periods is no big deal. Before they head back to work after baby, send a text to brighten their day. A boy and a girl. A few family members told me to tell my girlfriends mum & dad (nana, granddad) to back off & give us some space when he was born because they were always round us & wouldnt let us breath. Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. Personally, I think reading books about child development and how to help your child in life can be very rewarding both to help one as a parent with becoming more confident and also to find ways to be able to discuss how to raise a child without it becoming angry or sensitive. We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. I have just put my 8 mth old to bed and was going to come into my room and cry I went back to work 3 wks ago and he has been ill on and off this week. One explanation to why your daughters reaction is so strong might be that 9 months is a sensitive age. When he's with me. This will not affect your long-term relationship in any way, as long as you can stay cool about it. I KNOW your baby loves you. Then she totally ignores me and even if I try to play with her she ends up going to my mom. It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? I have been her sole provider since then, her father and I are no longer together, though she sees him often, but she seems to recognize him and holds her hands out to him and is so happy when he comes. What a tricky situation you are all in! Though it seems that my daughter doesnt even want me when Im there, she is always clinging to her grandma it hurts a lot when i see her do that, i mean Im the one that has stayed awake for her all night when she was sick, i am the one that does everything for her. (cross-post with Working Moms) I go back to work in a week and my 2.5 month old daughter refuses to take bottles. To all those beautiful mummies and daddies who have shared their heart with us, you are so not alone, I have had pnd anxiety since my little man was about 2 months old and I used to feel this way so much that it broke my spirit and heart. I am in a similar state..My daughter has chosen my husband and my MIL always over me..I had a C section and whenever she used to cry as a newborn my MIL would come and whisk her away..Dad was her all time fav cos he would sing to her in his deep voice..I comforted myself saying that it would all be fine but she is one year old now and I see no improvement..When she is crying, she doesnt want me.My MIL whisks her away and she stops crying in a sec..My MIL thinks I am not doing a good job as a mon and that erodes my confidence as a working woman and a mom..I regret having my baby sometimes even though she is the most beautiful angel in my eyes..I cry and I have a diary written for her to read when she becomes a mom..On the overall I dont feel like a mom..My daughter doesnt hug me..She doesnt call me Mama.She hugs her dad and grandma all the time and says even Apple and Papa..I guess I am just not meant to live!! Try the sleep and switch. 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